I wrote a post called When I Ask And Do Not Receive a couple weeks ago. Still I am asking, and still it seems I am not receiving. I seem to be stuck in this place where I feel like I kind of believe, and I want to believe, but I can’t say with confidence that I really believe it all. Why is God not revealing himself to me, or convincing me that he is real? Or is he, and I’m just blind to it? If that’s the case, he should know that, and should know how to reveal himself in a way I can recognize it, right?
In Genesis 15, God comes to Abraham in a vision, and speaks to him and makes a covenant with him. Through this it says that Abram believed. But then Abram, even though believing, asks God how he is to know that these things will really happen. God still even further convinces him that the things promised will happen.
In Exodus 33-34, Moses asks God to “show me your glory!”, and later on the mountain, God passes by Moses and allows him to see his back as he passes by.
In my previous post (that I liked above), Jesus says to seek, ask, and knock, and it will be given to you. I feel like I am doing these things, but not receiving what I am asking for.
After Jesus’ resurrection, Thomas says in John 20:25: “Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” Jesus appears to Thomas and asks him to touch the wounds, and believe.
In Luke 24, there were 2 walking on the road to Emmaus, talking about what had taken place at the tomb of Jesus. Jesus appeared to them, without them even asking, and revealed himself to them, and “explained to them the things concerning Himself in all the Scriptures.”
God has a history of revealing himself to people, and even tells us we should ask! How can it be then that I am searching the scriptures and praying and asking for faith, asking for assurance and to be convinced, asking for God to reveal himself to me, and I’m not getting it. How long must I wait before before I give up asking the God who says to “ask and it will be given to you”? Is the discouragement that I feel right now something that God wants me to be feeling? Am I doing something wrong?